The Pursuit of Happiness: Leap 4 of 7- The Mindset Re-programming

Our happiness has a direct correlation with the quality of our mindset. Mindset is a set of foundational beliefs and thoughts, which decide how we look at ourselves, how we view the world, how we deal with challenges, how we interpret our life events, and what type of conversations we have with ourselves. It influences how we think, feel, and behave in different circumstances.

In the 4th leap, we will understand the power of our mindset and how its re-programming can change our life beyond imagination.

What is mindset programming?

Mindset programming is the way our mind has been conditioned over the years. Allow me to explain with an example of this enlightening story.

There was a man who was passing through a road. On his way, he saw giant elephants tied to small ropes on their leg. The man was astonished by that. He thought, how was that possible? So, he went to the caretaker to ask.

Man: How come these elephants allowed themselves to be restrained like this and that too with a small rope.

Caretaker: Because they can’t free themselves.

Man: Are you kidding? There is no way such small ropes can restrain such giant creatures.

Caretaker (with a smile on his face): You and I know that these small ropes cannot stop them. But the elephants don’t know that they can get out of these ropes the moment they want.

Man (Scratching his head): How?

Caretaker: When these elephants were young, we tied them with these sized ropes. They used to try to get out of the shackles, but they could not, as they were not strong enough then. After failing multiple times, they started believing that they could never get out of these ropes and stopped trying. They have accepted that they cannot come out of the shackles even after becoming this big and powerful.

Now ask yourself. What negative programming have you been carrying for so many years? The worst part is our minds have been programmed with so many limiting beliefs for so many years that we have accepted them to be true so, there is no scope of questioning them.

If you want to have a real-life example, then do one experiment. Ask any child around you and ask them what they want to do in their life, and they would come out with some out-of-the-box hilarious answers, and somewhere you would realize that you used to be the same. But as years passed, we planted so many limitations in our heads that we stopped ourselves from seeing the possibilities. We give ourselves so many excuses that life happens, reality hits, responsibilities increases, and many more. I don’t deny any of them. However, if you don’t fight for your dreams and happiness, then who else will? Also, don’t you think some people have made it regardless of whatever challenges they face? Look around. You will find people who have been living the life you always desired.

It is not about winning or losing. It is about giving yourself the best possible chance every time.

- Niket Gupta

How does the mind get programmed?

1. Childhood conditioning

Our mind starts getting programmed from the early days of our life. It gets shaped by our parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, and friends. Since we were so young then, we didn’t have the intellect to interpret events on our own, and hence, we ended up accepting what was told to us.

The elephant story I shared above is a classic example of childhood conditioning. Some other examples can be money is the root of all evil, one should not have big dreams as not everyone can achieve them, you cannot succeed if you are not good at studies, failure is bad, you should not take risks, etc.

2. Repetition of events

What gets repeated becomes permanent. If you have made some wrong investments, you may think you are not good at managing money. If you have had multiple relationship failures, you may believe that you are not a good partner or all the people you have been with were idiots. If you have made some bad decisions, you may start believing that you are not good at decision-making and start depending upon others to make decisions on your behalf.

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning [we] give it.

- Tony Robbins

Is it worth putting time, money, and effort into re-programming the mindset?

If you can change your mind, you can change your life.

― William James

1. Your mindset creates your reality

Most people believe that they think in a certain way because of what happened to them in real life. But the truth is, what you think will happen to you, will eventually happen to you. Read that again.

Our mindset interprets and gives meaning to each and everything that happens in our lives. It defines if we take events as good, bad, or ugly. Hence, your mindset is responsible if something is not working out for you for a long time and you feel trapped, or you have rated any area of your circle of life low.

No one can destroy iron, but its own rust can! Likewise, no one can destroy a person but his own mindset can.

- Ratan Tata

2. Your mindset decides the outcome even before you begin

Before you achieve something in your life, it is crucial to have faith that you CAN achieve it in the first place.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.

- Henry Ford

Also, what you think of yourself matters and not what others think of you.

Qualities like hard work, perseverance, dedication, and focus are needed to succeed, but nothing would last if you don’t believe in yourself that you can achieve it. Mindset is the reason why some people excel at whatever they do regardless of the resources they have. The same mindset is responsible for why some people remain average even after having all resources.

We desire many things. But just having the desire will not fetch us what we want. It is the unyielding mindset that brings what we desire. Everyone knows what they are supposed to do for their growth. Seriously. Everyone knows. Even you know. But how many of them can execute? It is a common misconception that motivation comes from outside. It comes from within you. It is the mindset that motivates you to do the right things.

3. Your mindset helps you overcome internal resistance and gives you the push you need

You face internal resistance whenever you think of making a shift in your life. This shift can be anything. It can be improving your eating habits, improving your workout routine, finding a new job, starting a business, performing better, or getting into a relationship. You know the shift will enhance your life but still, you feel the resistance from within you. The right mindset pushes you to get out of your comfort zone and strive towards actions.

4. Your mindset helps you respond better

The biggest make-or-break point in life is how you face challenges. No matter what path you choose, you will always face obstacles. No one has achieved anything significant without facing some great challenges. One can easily get overwhelmed with adversity and take the easier option of giving up. But a winning mindset helps you overcome these testing times.

Happiness is not the absence of problems. It is the ability to deal with them.

- Steve Maraboli

Can I change my mindset now?

The answer is a big YES. Mindset re-programming is the core of my coaching program, where I help my clients re-program their mindset with powerful practical approaches that help them in all the areas of their lives.

Let me share some success stories achieved during this part of the program. A participant who always had a gym membership but used to go hardly 8–10 days a month was able to maintain consistency of 5-days a week for more than a year and reach his fittest self. A participant who used to live a monotonous life because she feared trying new things and experiences decided to break through her fears of uncertainty and started exploring new things to make her life exciting. One client was able to improve her relationship with her husband and son. Another client was able to pull herself out of a toxic marriage. One participant, who used to feel that he would never be able to do anything significant, and started doubting his existence, became an entrepreneur. One participant, who was on the verge of getting fired, became the best performer. A participant who had lost himself by being emotionally dependent on others and living at the mercy of other people took charge of his life and happiness. One participant was able to achieve the consistency and drive she had been searching for previous eight years.

Having said these amazing breakthroughs, let me tell you one more thing. Re-programming your mind is about breaking all past beliefs and patterns you have created in your life to date. Your mindset has developed with years of programming, and the process to change it is slow but worth it. With the proper guidance and procedures, you can change the way you perceive your life and find your happy self.

I am sure you have learned a lot about your life today. You can appreciate my work with as many claps as you can. Please share your valuable inputs in the comments section. I will see you next week with another leap in our Pursuit of Happiness.