The Pursuit of Happiness: Leap 5 of 7 — The Inner Circle

We come across so many motivational and empowering quotes every day. Some of them inspire us to think and act differently. I came across one such quote in January 2020 that changed my life completely.

You are the average of 5 people you spend most of your time with

- Jim Rohn

The type of people you spend most of your time with has a profound effect on your life. If you spend time with five stupid people, then you will be the sixth one. If you spend time with five intelligent people, then you will be the sixth one. If you spend time with five optimistic, inspired, and happy people, then you will be the sixth one. If you spend time with five cribbing, moaning, and sad people, then you will be the sixth one. When I analyzed my surrounding, I was shocked. The relationship I was in had become toxic, the friends I had were continuously putting me down, the colleagues I had were constantly complaining about the job and the company. I asked myself how I would live my life happily and achieve something substantial if I had that surrounding. I have nothing against them. They are good people and have taught me some of the greatest lessons of my life.

In your childhood, did your parents ask you to be friends with bright students? Parents generally do that because they understand the effects of surrounding on a young mind. But let me tell you something. This concept is not limited to studies and young age, and it is equally applicable to all the areas of your life at any age.

In 2019, I was going through a crisis in terms of my career. I was a business development manager in a hospitality firm, and I was not performing anywhere near expectations. As a result, my name was on the list of people who were supposed to get fired in January 2020. I got saved because some of my colleagues had resigned. But to my and anyone’s surprise, I was the best performer at region level in the same job three times in the next nine months. Now when I look back, I realize what shifted. In 2019, everyone around me was cribbing about the work we were doing. My closest colleagues were always finding issues and negatives in the job. As a result, I could not give my 100% as I used to think my work was worthless. In 2020, on the contrary, I had a new set of encouraging people around me. My managers were high-spirited about our work. My colleagues were optimistic about the value that we were providing to the partners. We started believing in ourselves, and that made me feel valued. So, what changed? Not the company and the job description. It was my circle that changed.

Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.

— Oprah Winfrey

If you look around, you will find two types of people around you. The first type of people will put you down all the time, have nothing good to say about you, do not add any value to your life, and give you reasons why you would not achieve what you desire. With such people, your chances of being happy are very thin. The second category of people would put efforts to understand you, help you shape your thought process, support you to chase your dreams and push you to move out of your comfort zone. The pursuit of happiness would demand consistency and commitment. With the right people around, you are accountable to people who motivate and support you, which would make your journey easier.

The people you spend most of your time with are called your Inner Circle. A person can have more than one inner circle. The people you meet in your gym are your Health Inner Circle. Your office colleagues are your Career Inner Circle. Your friends and family can be part of multiple inner circles.

Activity: Look at your Circle of Life. (If you are not aware of the Circle of Life, then go to The Pursuit of Happiness: Leap 2 of 7 — Life 360˚) Identify areas where you have rated yourself low. Analyze the people you spend most of your time in those areas.

Hack: If you want to improve your health, spend time with people who have a healthy lifestyle. If you aspire to be wealthy, then spend time with rich people or people on their way to becoming wealthy. If you want to improve your relationship, then spend time with people who have a better relationship. If you desire to be happy, spend time with happy and peaceful people with a positive outlook towards life.

Today you learned a lot about the impact of people around you on your happiness. You can appreciate my work with as many claps as you can. Please share your valuable inputs in the comments section. I will see you next week with another leap in our Pursuit of Happiness.